Humans really crave attention, it is in our nature. Here are a list of different interesting people that you can find on the ever growing online community of Social Media.
1. Step by Step Poster (SSP)
This type is everywhere, probably the most common one out there. They love informing the world about what time they woke up, what are they eating and when they are going to take a dump. You are probably privier to their personal life than actual people who is in SSP’s circle. Usual members are the so called “Social Media Influencers” and some attention craving adolescents. Selfie, Selfie everywhere. What can I say everyone has a little SSP in them, even me.
USUAL POST: Just woke up, Good morning! Having coffee and some stale cereal #healthyliving
BRB taking a dump! #canimakeit?
2. Hashtag Lord (HTL)
One of the many unsolved mystery in this world. HTL peeps communicate using hashtag, why they do this is unknown, and has baffled scientist and psychologist around the world for years. Their post is technically a search bar with a bunch of keywords, it seems that HTL thought that this is the most effective way to communicate.
USUAL POST: #Goodmorning #Lovelyday #Sunlight #Clouds #Meal #Pork # Veggies #Discountmeal #Selfie #Face #Selfieofinstagram
3. The Stage Mom (TSM)
Ah the good ol’ baby post. This netizen is probably one of the most persistent ones. Yes, I don’t have anything against your baby, yes, I’m thrilled that you are a parent. Yes, I know how cute your child is. But please you don’t need to remind me 24/7. TSM will post every angle, every movement and every breath of their child. At first it's kinda cute, then before you know it your news feed is overwhelmed by tons and tons of pictures of their baby.
USUAL POST:
Awww My baby’s first smile #milestone Awww My baby’s first smile in a different angle #cutie Awww My baby’s first smile after a few hours #bestbaby
4. The Lurker (TLR)
One of the deadliest out there. These are quiet ones; their social media presence is close to nothing. Watching from the shadows, TLR loves letting things unfold. These netizens rarely post stuff, no social media activity, but don’t get fooled they are out there.They lurk around browsing your profile, quietly reading comments, laughing, judging.
USUAL POST: Nothing, they don’t post, but they are online all the time.
5. Photographer in Training (PIT)
This type is usually a frustrated photographer. It is probably their dream to pursue a photography job but due to some circumstances they cannot. They can be found in Instagram or in Facebook. Usually they use their phone camera but if they are feeling fancy they will use their DSLR. It doesn’t matter if the photo is blurred or the lighting is bad for PIT everything is art. And hey who are we to judge?
USUAL POST:
Found this empty can #vintage #photography Nice sunset!
6. Philosophy Major (PHM)
Everything you said shall be used against you. PHM will argue about everything. They will question your belief and opinion. For the PHM peeps no opinion is worthy except theirs. They will argue until their case is heard at the supreme court. They love political and religious debates and will provoke you to engage in a verbal fight and suck you to an eternal vortex of cyber hate.
USUAL POST:
That is very illogical of you, how could say that? Studies show blah blah blah No you are wrong that is very uneducated opinion you, should yadda yadda yadda Looking at your perspective, I pity your (insert white noise here)
7. Couple of the Year (COY)
You will feel like you are watching a telenovela while seeing COY’s posts. These couples love to post intimate details about their relationship that no one is asking for. You can usually identify them by their "I love you" post and long appreciation post for their partner. Statistically COY’s post are not long term, not for the same partner anyway. COY have 4 stages, at stage one it will be a barrage of sweet nothings, at stage 2 you will observe posts that may indicate relationship problems, these are usually encrypted. At stage 3 a break-up post will be up and that entails unfriending, blocking and deleting of photos. The final stage, the COY will then proceed to post inspirational quotes of standing up, empowerment and self-love.
USUAL POST:
So lucky to have you <3 I hate it when people lie! #stayaway It hurts, but I need to let go (You cannot reply to this conversation anymore) Love yourself first and the right one will know your worth #respect
8. The Fandom Warrior (TFW)
I don’t generalize but most of them are the cancer cells incarnate. They are knights of their chosen fandom and will stop at nothing to defend their fandom online. If you somewhat as posted a slightly negative comment on their idols be prepared to be swarmed by hormone induced bashing online. Members of TFW brigade are usually the baby bra warriors (teenage girls), kiddos, overzealous sports fans and unemployed peeps living in their mother’s basement. Their genre are Anime, Games, K-pop, Sports, Music and other variations of The Pop culture.
USUAL POSTS:
(Insert K-pop band here) is the best, don’t use their name to promote your page! Other group are sh*t! So what (insert player here) is a god! They lost because of bad teammates! (Insert fandom here) FOREVER!!!!
9. The Scammed (TSCM)
One of the saddest bunch out there. TSCM are the gullible ones. They post anything online and are usually the victims of fake news and chain mails. They love re-posting fake news articles and shady charity campaigns. The members are usually the elderly and will probably believe anything.
USUAL POST:
1 like = 1 prayer Can this girl get a like, Facebook says they will donate money per like. Oh my God! Check out this 3 headed dog with a tail of a beaver and the wings of a fairy!
10. Meme Lord (MEME)
MEME is the most common type of Social Media regulars, they range from ages 14-40 yrs.’ old. They love posting memes, making new memes and bashing people who re-post old memes. They live by the memes and will probably die by the memes. They usually have dark humor and have unlimited private jokes with fellow memers. With the rise of this new culture, Meme pages are gaining social status online as the go to for laughs and social media relevance.
USUAL POST: I’ve seen that meme. HAHAHHAAH #savage
We are complex creatures and sometimes just really painfully simple individuals. Maybe we just want to fill the void and to connect with someone else? Who knows? But social media is here to stay and these people will continue to make it their battlefield. How about you? Which type are you?
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